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Stop It, Stop It, Stop It - Body Bashing.

This morning I scrolled through my Facebook timeline and saw several people share the same viral image. The text over it made my blood boil and I won't be posting it on here just like I wouldn't leave a dead rat in my hallway.

"Curves. Because nobody likes to snuggle a stick" is probably the most disgusting thing I've seen on my timeline today (it was only 11:30 so will probably continue to go down hill from there). I sat and wondered (whilst ranting out loud, obviously) if anyone actually had a second thought before sharing that? I imagined my more slender petite friends, and (stomach churns) younger family members scrolling down their time and seeing that.

I have so many friends who are the shape that they are and will never have curves, or family members who are too young to have a "shape" yet. When I think about them seeing things like this from people they know (or even who they don't know now thanks to the ridiculous feature that is the Facebook timeline) I can imagine some of them feeling like they've had a mini kick in the crotch. For my younger cousins, seeing things like this can make them question how they feel about their current shape. As a teenager not everyone has a strong sense of self yet, and things like this can sink in like water to a sponge.

You can be what ever size you like and shout about how proud you are of it and I salute you. Being comfortable in your own skin is so important, but it doesn't mean making other people feel bad about themselves for not being the same shape. A lot of people don't even think that it is harmful because it's not directly aimed at anyone, but direct or indirect, body shaming is WRONG. It doesn't get any more simple than that.

People don't choose their shape or size and the lack of sensitivity astounds me and genuinely makes me fear for the future. Do I want to potentially bring a daughter in to the world if this is what surrounds her (then Josh reminds me that our children will be the most stubborn, sassy beings on the planet - they'll be fine). There's also the recurring issue of reversing the message on this image - if someone were to bash a curvy figure there would be uproar. And naturally so - I'll say it again, body bashing = WRONG.

I'm sure you've gathered by now that I could go on and on, so I'll wrap it up. My body has changed dramatically over the past eight years but strangely my other half hasn't - funny that. If that were to change I can sure as hell guarantee that my shape won't be what breaks us (I'm extremely messy if you haven't already noticed).

My worth is not dictated by a number or shape and sure as hell does not define whether some one wants to snuggle me at night.

Be healthy, happy and kind - that's what it's all about.
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87 comments

  1. I completely agree with this, some people need to realise that becoming confident in with their own body shape doesn't mean that they should shame other body shapes. x

    Isabella Hope

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  2. Great Post, I'm glad you've addressed this. No matter what you look like, you are beautiful. You are the best version of yourself, and no one could be better at being you! Lots of Love, Kate x

    www.vanillainnovember.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. That phrase makes me really angry too, and I'm so glad you posted about it! Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, but never through making others feel worse!

    Catpacking | Beauty & Travel

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  4. I completely agree with you! Seeing these kind of messages on the Internet makes me really upset.

    ALINA ERMILOVA | BLOG

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  5. I have seen people talking about this subject for so long on every social media platform and its really starting to JAR me! simply because why is it even a bloody discussion we need to be having as WOMEN solely we shouldn't bash each other about our body shape, women get enough pressure from everywhere else so we should be supporting each other. it makes me sad knowing that young girls are feeling pressured to look a certain way now. its not fair.

    great post; bonitarochelle.co.uk

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    1. Totally agree with you - shouldn't even need to be said! It shouldn't even need to be a discussion topic. Though seeing as it is happening I feel it's good to speak out about the fact that it is wrong, and isn't just being accepted :)

      It's so sad and different types of body bashing have always happened - just swinging from one end of the scale to the other. It's only really by believing in positive & healthy body image and passing that on to future generations that we will maybe see a decline.

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  6. Your last sentence just summed up everything about body image. It's appalling when people try and make themselves feel better about themselves by putting others down
    Megan x
    London Callings

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  7. Before I say what I have to say, let me tell you that I'm a curvy Italian woman and I'm in no way trying to upset anyone, but ...

    Phrases like that are said by people to make themselves feel better. So, odds are, that particular phrase was uttered by someone who is curvy and felt the need to bring 'skinny' people down.

    When I hear/read stuff like that, I don't take it to heart. It's not my philosophy so why should I let it bother me or get me riled up? It's not worth it.

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    1. I totally hear you and I love your philosophy, but lots of people aren't in the same mind set and don't have a lot of confidence and do take these things to heart. Lot's of people don't have the understanding that the source of the statement might be incredibly insecure.

      I could easily glaze over this and not mention it. But what good does that do? We sit back and let these people feed an unhealthy message, allowing them to think it's okay.

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  8. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Everyone always says how wrong it is to promote being skinny or to say it's better to be skinny but they don't realise it goes both ways i hate seeing things like "really women have curves" like what if someone doesn't have curves she's not a woman anymore? I have plenty of friends who are tiny and physically cannot gain weight and sometimes they get hate for it or called anorexic when it is actually impossible for them to gain weight no matter what they eat. People call people too fat they call them too skinny or too muscular why do we have to judge other people for their body shapes like how does someone else size or shape affect how you live your life like honestly people

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    1. Agreed, I hate seeing things like "real women have curves", makes me so angry. So if you don't have curves your not a women? its so nasty.

      Jess x

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  9. by the way i totally love you

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  10. Absolutely agree with you about all of this! Sometimes I feel like that my Facebook timeline is the most vile, thoughtless congolmeration of awful statements/pictures/memes out of all my social media feeds, and I wonder why that is.

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  11. Yes! Brilliant! Sometimes I can't imagine what people are thinking, are they trying to make themselves feel better? Do they think they're being sassy? Do they even realize they and their friends are not the only ones to see that?

    I think you inspired my own rant today.

    Mana
    <a herf="www.fashionandhappythings.com> Fashion and Happy Things </a>

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  12. Thank you so much for writing this and bringing attention to this topic. Being happy and healthy is absolutely the most important thing of all.

    xx
    faith

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    1. I think you've hit the nail on the head there Faith - 'being happy and healthy'. It doesn't matter what size or shape you are, being healthy and happy is without a doubt the utmost important thing. Well said, off the back of an excellent post from Suzie x

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  13. I completely agree with you. I don't like how the extreme "health kick" everyone is on, has turned around and is now doing the same thing to "skinny people" as a few years ago it was done to "not skinny people". I'm here like, IT'S THE SAME THING JUST THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
    Thanks for writing and sharing this, I could use the reminder today. <3

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  14. I agree with everything you've written - and I love the quote you chose to post with this. Accepting your bodytype/shape doesn't mean you get a free card to shame others.

    little miss fii | Fii x

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  15. This is so true! I agree! and that phrase is horrible!
    Love
    Pili
    pils13.blogspot.com

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  16. Thank you!! I thought the same thing when I first saw the "real women have curves" pictures on my instagram feed a few weeks back. Who is to say what "real" women look like? I do have curves but that does not make me any more a "real" woman, than a woman without curves. It's just such a twisted viewpoint to have.

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  17. Great post! Completely agree with everything you've said. I've seen that image too and I don't understand why people are putting hate out there when they just don't know the affect it's going to have on the people who see it, from a teenage girl who is the last of her friends to develop to a slim boy who is made to feel self conscious about his body type and think that girls aren't going to like him because of it. It's pretty much the same as posting an image saying 'slim girls, because nobody likes to snuggle a *tries to think of a word just as offensive as calling slim girls sticks but I don't want to write anything horrible so I'm getting a bit stuck* tree trunk (that will do, thought i'd stick with the tree theme)' and no one would be proudly sharing that on facebook because they know it's horrible so I don't know why people think it's okay when it's the other way round?!

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  18. I so agree. I know people who are genetically thin, my brothers are one of those people that never put on weight, a bit unfair but thats life. Because of the shape of my body I will never have sexy curves or a KimK-bum-bum. Most of the fat centers around my stomach area, the most unflattering place ever. I have a friend who is very petite, she is around 160-165 cm. She often got really upset when people said thing like you should eat more food` etc.. She did eat a lot more than I did, but she could never put on wright.


    It is not about body shape, people should concentrate on become healthy instead of bashing other people. Lets face it, and this is coming from someone who is about pretty chubby herself, whats the point of celebrating having curves when the curves are made off a unhealthy lifestyle/ laziness.

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  19. Such a great post. I hate body bashers of all types. Just be you x

    pintsizedbeauty.blogspot.co.uk

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  20. I absolutely salute you for writing this! No one should be made to feel bad about their body whether they're curvy, skinny, big, little, short tall and whatever else! I'm naturally thin and always have been and recently I had some comment on my instagram photo saying "vile and anorexic" and a tweet telling me to "eat something because it's unhealthy". Bashng one body type to raise another is not okay!

    www.saltandchic.com // UK Fashion Blog

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    1. I am so sorry you had to read that on your own feed! I hope you blocked those people! You are worth more than that, if you are healthy it does not matter what you physically look like. <3

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  21. So true, I hate when people slam others for looking ' Anorexic' but tbh some people are just naturally thin and they have all these songs saying that thats not beautiful which I think is awful :( Body Bashing is not right :/

    http://sapphiresaysfashion.blogspot.co.uk/

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  22. PREACH. We need more of these posts. Good on you. xx

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  23. Couldn't have put it better myself!
    http://my--socalledlife.blogspot.com.es/

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  24. It's funny, people usually only get angry when people talk about people being super skinny and that' the "right look" but it is also wrong to -like you said- body bash if you should have curves or not. I wrote a blog post that is very similar to this. I am so happy I am reading more and more posts about this issue!! xx

    http://lilliemysel.blogspot.com

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  25. I was actually just thinking about this topic earlier today! Being a slender "stick", this really upsets me to see this. Because it's really not okay to put other people down to make you feel better. It's been coming up a lot recently in the media with 'All About That Bass', a very popular pop song whose entire message seems to be putting down people who aren't a certain body size. Skinny people can be just as insecure as curvy people. I wore a t-shirt and shorts every time I went swimming up until grade 8 because I wasn't happy with my lack of curves. Now I'm confident enough to not be completely put down by things like this, but it still hurts. And I would never want a younger, less confident girl to feel bad about her body because it is naturally different than someone else's. Putting someone down to make you feel better isn't okay under any circumstances.
    http://thumble-nina.blogspot.ca/

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    1. I'm so glad somebody mentioned 'All About the Bass' in context to this post - I was going to mention it myself! It's such an inappropriate song, inspirational and confidence boosting for some, but in the process putting down slim girls by calling them 'stick figures', as well as knocking girls who have had cosmetic surgery by calling them 'silicone barbie dolls' - neither slender figures nor cosmetic surgery are negative things but this song makes them out to be. Well said Nina, and I'm so pleased your confidence has grown with time.

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  26. I agree with you 100%. Whether you're have a slender figure or are more curvy, a woman is allowed to look and feel beautiful no matter her shape... body shaming/bashing HAS to stop. It is so damaging to women of all ages, and damaging to society. It really is. Facebook is horrible now, I seriously can't stand to get on there anymore. People share garbage like this without thinking twice about the people who will be reading it. I deleted my Facebook for a few months earlier this year and my life was so much lighter than it is now... unfortunately family/friends contact me mainly through FB so I had to get it back, but I only log on when I get an email saying I have received a message or comment, just to keep from scrolling through my feed and getting upset!
    xx
    Jenny // Mish Mosh Makeup

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  27. This is why I hate the phrase "only real women have curves" like if you don't you're not even a female. Annoys me so much!! Lovely post :) nice to know there are lots of us out there who are willing to just accept somebody for who they are and nothing more.

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  28. My roommate should read this...

    Victoria Beckham Nail polish launch! Check out my latest post xoxo http://blizzard-girl.blogspot.com/2014/12/victoria-beckham-and-nails-inc.html

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  29. I agree body bashing in any form is wrong! I don't get why girls need to put each other down all the time.
    Reinventing Neesha ♥

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  30. Well said! About time someone discussed this issue from both ends! xx

    Just Jen

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  31. Completely agree with you, thanks God you are on the same opinion as well! I have been seeing posts like that on my timeline for months now and being naturally slim, they always make me feel a bit annoyed - if I was more easily impressionable by stuff I read I would probably feel really bad. Truth is, in real life, I haven't noticed anyone "not wanting to snuggle me" because I am not curvy.. The idea itself just sounds mad :D What is worse though, is I have noticed this same message being liked or shared by girls who like to think of themselves as feminists - surely, you are doing the opposite of what feminism stands for, if you bash women who just happen to be slimmer... That's the same like 'real women have curves'. Well okay then, I guess the rest of us are just fictional!

    Anyway, great post!

    http://booksandmacarons.blogspot.co.uk/

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  32. Thank you so much for this post. I am petite and I never planned to be or anything. I've just got a super fast metabolism which makes it nearly incredible to gain weight. I had a lot of bad encounters because of that. Once I came back from a concertin the middle of the night at light 3 o'clock and I was just a little bit hungry. So I went to a kiosk and ordered fries with mayo and the guy there asked me if I was on a diet or sth. Because I am way too thin and it looks disgusting. He just commented on my body without being asked. And I just ordered fast food at his kiosk like a minute ago.
    However, I found a way to gain at least a little bit of weight. 3kg in the last 4 months. Which is a huge success for me.
    Why can't everyone just mind their own business?

    Best Wishes, Eva ♥
    http://queensdressed2kill.blogspot.de/

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  33. All women are REAL women and I don't think any of us need a tag to go along with our name/taste/shape/etc.
    Although I doubt whoever made the banner had in mind the fact that their offending half of the women out there while trying to defend the other half, I completely agree with everything you wrote :)

    http://whatyvettenoticed.blogspot.com/

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  34. Brilliant post. Completely agree with everything you said. Body bashing is just so wrong, whichever way it goes.

    xx Mimmi, Muted Mornings

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  35. I love you so much for writing about this! I would go on and talk about it but you've practically said everything and I can't properly word my experience. But thank you again !

    nimblenote.blogspot.com

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  36. Well said! Being comfortable with yourself is the most important thing :)

    carlotarules.wordpress.com

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  37. So glad someone finally addressed this, i have seen this picture before aswell and it made me feel incredibly self conscious as I am not the curviest person! Spread the word ♥

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  38. I loved that you wrote this. It's kind of a sad misguided effort when people post something like that. I can see that they're trying to give power to one body shape, but they're inadvertently bashing another in the process. I used to hate being a stick when I was a kid, especially while everyone else was getting curves. The message should be about health, not about appearance at any rate.
    Bloomin' Rouge

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  39. This post was beautiful and spot on. As a plus size girl, it kills me to see skinny-shaming - I know bigger girls are trying to feel justified in their bodies, but it's just a step backwards and is no better than a skinny person fat-shaming a big girl. We all need to love and support each other, no matter the size or shape. We're ALL beautiful and precious and lovely and desired, whether we be sticks or stones or anything in between. :)

    xo Mandy | Blog

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  40. Such a truthful post!
    http://www.thoughtsinstyle.com/

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  41. Like you said "being comfortable in your skin is so important" and I think it sums up. You may be curvy or totally skinny: what matters is that you should embrace yourself the way you are. You can change some aspects of your body but it is what it is. If a model is super skinny, she may go to gym the rest of her life that she won't have a Kardashian ass and vice-versa. Body-shape equality (if we can call it that) has to work on both ways: embracing the curvy and stronger figure and also the skinny one. HEALTH and SELF-LOVE comes first!

    I got excited too about this post, it is an amazing discussion, thank you for bringing it up :)

    xx Rita

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  42. I completely agree with this. It makes me so angry when people think it is okay to call somebody a "stick" or "anorexic", it is just as offensive and hurtful as calling somebody "fat".

    http://jessieglam.blogspot.co.uk

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  43. perfect post. people should just stop commenting on bodies all together, period. it's nobody's business but your own!
    xo, cheyenne

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  44. Great post, I completely agree! So many people share content without even thinking of the effect it can have on other people especially younger audience!

    Cheryl
    http://daisycandle.com

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  46. So well said Suzie!

    http://juliekjaers.blogspot.dk

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  47. YES! Let's not even talk about All About That Bass and how wrong the lyrics to that song are. Sometimes I think that people mindlessly dance about to these 'body confidence' songs because it's en vogue. We need to think about the media that we consume and how harmful it is while we're conscious, because our subconscious minds incorporate it ALL into our views of ourselves.

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  48. Oh could not agree more. This is an issue that has bothered me for so long, and more so recently what with Meghan Trainor's ignorant song lyrics and what have you. I'm glad I've not seen that picture, ugh.

    Great words, well done for speaking up! x

    A Little Grey

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  49. This is very true! I could not agree more with you, we cannot control how we look, everybody hates on people who talk about being "fat" as a bad thing but saying being too thin is also bad just isn't fair for anybody. A total lose-lose situation. x

    Blog Marjorie

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  51. Love this post! Its disgusts me so much when I see other people bashing on other types of body shapes. I don't understand why people can't accept that everyone is different and our body shapes don't define us at all.

    Colorful Closets

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  52. Completely agree, not everyone has the same shape and until people start to love what they have and see the media or certain places only use specific types, it does not make you less worthy or beautiful

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Fashion Beauty - www.brittonloves.blogspot.co.uk

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  53. True, true, true!

    http://jeansandmacaroons.blogspot.com

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  54. Love this post. I completely agree. I got pulled out of class once a fair few years ago by my teacher who asked me if I was okay because I was 'looking thin'. This is natural for me, as it was for my mum and my grandma at the same age. It actually really affected me because people at school already made comments. It's not something I could help. I ate more than most people but I have an extremely high metabolism. Now at the time all I could think was.. You couldn't call a bigger person out of class and ask them if they were okay because they were looking fat... the fat/skinny dilemma works both ways. Saying someone is 'skinny' is the same as calling someone fat in my eyes. There are better words. `Slim' is what I prefer!

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  55. Thank you so much for this post! Skinny shaming is just as bad as any other body shaming. People need to realise the effect it has on others, gladly I am now confident enough to ignore these kind of posts on Facebook, rewind a few years and that would of hit me so hard. SO many people out there will still be offended and affected by it so like you said, people need to stop.

    x

    Written with style | Bloglovin

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  56. this is so accurate. the pressure to look perfect nowadays has gotten out of control and body shaming to make yourself feel better is wrong on so many levels. I think that because really thin model esque figures are favoured by the media, girls with curvier figures tend to rebel against this and I can see where they are coming from. There is no such thing as skinny, curvy, fat; body shapes are far more unique and varied than this and it should be ok to be any size/shape you want. I think there are other ways to get the message of body confidence across than skinny shaming.

    Rachael O x

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  57. I'd never really thought of the post like that, but now you've said it, it's made me realise actually how sickening it is. I can understand 'curvier' girls posting it as a way of self-security, however this has hit me on the adverse affect it can have on others. Brilliant post, and thank you for making me realise that posting something to make yourself feel better can make others feel worse. The internet is so powerful these days!

    Lots of Love,
    Hannah xo
    http://hannahmbaber.blogspot.co.uk/

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  58. I agree that body bashing is wrong, but it irks me that skinny girls only ever want to talk about it when it's about them. They never seem to want to stand up for heavier girls, who are the ones who are actually looked upon as unattractive and undesirable by society. They add them to their commentaries as an afterthought, just so no one can say they didn't include them. Yes, it's unnecessary and wrong to comment on anyone's body type, but when a thin girl opens a magazine or turns on the TV, she sees bodies like hers being called beautiful and ideal and sexy. Fat girls never get that; individual comments tell them they look gross, and then the media reinforces that. Just something to consider.

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    1. People of all shapes and sizes (including "skinny" - which is a horrible word by the way) experience body bashing. I'm sick of seeing all of it, and my motivation for writing this is not because I feel it is aimed at me. Just Something to consider.

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  59. I love this, because I feel like I'm in the middle. I am still growing and I am insecure & I have tried dieting and even developed my own little eating disorder, and I'm petite. I will never have a shape and will never be as skinny as I want to be. I think society was going in the right direction taking knowledge about curvy girls, but they forgot that some of us are petite?!? xx

    ZoesSecretStyle.blogspot.co.il

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  60. This is so important. People don't realise that being called 'too skinny' is just the same as calling someone 'too fat' - and you just wouldn't do that (at least not if you were a half decent person). Its important to be confident no matter what your shape, but I strongly believe we should teach everyone that putting slimmer people down is not the way to making those more curvaceous women seem more confident within themselves. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that 'plus size' (btw I don't count size 12 as plus size but whatever) women are getting more of a shot in media etc but 'skinny shaming' is an awful way to go about it. You're so right, body bashing is wrong no matter what your shape is.

    http://www.z0elouise.blogspot.com

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  61. Body Bashing is the worst! ; ___ ;

    www.thedailydollyblog.com

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  62. This is such an important topic to address. I've been noticing this a lot myself and I completely agree with you Suzie! Body bashing runs on all ends of the spectrum and all women seem to get bashed in the process. There aren't enough posts on self-acceptance and loving your body for how it was made. Some women are skinny, some are curvy, others are tall and others are petite, but none should be considered unattractive or undesired. Those people who are sharing such a cruel post should think how hurtful it is to see something like that directed at their own body type and realize that they are causing the same kind of pain towards others, particularly younger girls. I wish this whole body bashing would end already, on all parts.
    It was so refreshing to see someone bring this up finally, thanks for this Suzie!

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  63. I totally agree with the anon post from the 11th of September. Body bashing is wrong. But women who have curves have to deal with their shape not being considered desirable EVERYDAY and not just by silly posts on Facebook by one person but by world wide media and by the fashion industry as a whole. There are special sections in New Look for bigger women, there are special sections on ASOS because the normal fashion just wouldn't suit them and for some reason these fashion lines couldn't possibly just have a varied selection in their main collection...As well as this brands like Marks and Spencer have gone from an amazing campaign that celebrated strong and intelligent women of all shape. age and race to an advert with loads of size 8 or below young women dancing around in their underwear. I am a size 10 and I constantly battle with the voice in my head that tells me I need to loose weight to be able to wear crop tops and leggings. I already buy minimising bras for my DDD chest because there are so few clothes in shops designed to look good on women with a chest above a b cup. Like I said, all body bashing is wrong, but fat shaming is institutional and rarely about health and simply about clothes looking good.
    More importantly than all this though is the message of that quote saying that the important thing is the MAN that will want to hold you at night. Just like that stupid song 'My mama she told me don't worry about your size, she said boys like a little more booty to hold at night'. Because that's what is really important, finding a man to love you, rather than simply loving yourself.

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  64. Beautifully said! I wrote a post about the same topic a few months ago because when I was younger there was an awful lot of 'real women have curves' stuff online and it made my skinny, boobless 13 year old self feel dreadful! Spread the love X

    Here's the piece I wrote! http://jassyfizzle.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/skinny.html

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  65. Feeling good after reading this blog.Such a nice and useful blog you have posted here on human body fitness. Thanks for sharing here with us.

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  66. Agree with you, don't underestimate yourself. Just be yourself. Thanks for posting.

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  67. Curvy women are bashed all the time in the media and told there not beautiful ,thin women have a whole beauty industry build around them wake up

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